Every generation thinks that they are the first generation to ever have kids and that they (in their infinite wisdom) are going to re-invent the world of childbirth and child raising. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Me too.
Guess what? Anything more than common sense in nonsense. (I realize that pre-supposes that people have common sense…)
First there was Ricki Lake who felt the need to push her kids out in a kiddie pool in the middle of the living room in front of about 150,000,000 witnesses, including her other kids. And plague us with a documentary on the subject. Talk about trauma. Seriously, does that image of your mother enhance your life? Some things are just private.
The whole natural childbirth argument as a competitive thing annoys me. Because, quite frankly, it’s none of your business and it doesn’t really matter. Have your kid whatever way seems right for you and yours and quit thinking that it’s any more of an accomplishment to have them one way or the other. Staying healthy and functioning through a pregnancy and bringing another generation into this world is the accomplishment. No one cares how they got there. And yes, I had natural childbirth for one of ours (it was accidental, but still, I did it) I also had two babies others with pain medication. I vote for medication. You might be into pain. No one cares.
Now there’s this nutball on the cover of Time Magazine who insists on breastfeeding her kid even after the kid’s waaaaaaaaaay too old to be breastfeeding. There is no debate about this, as far as I’m concerned. (I worry that this kid is going to be bullied) Sure looks like this is waaaaaaaaay more about the mom than the kid.
I breast fed all three of our children, because I could and it came quite easily to me. So what. The only one I set a schedule for discontinuing the nursing was our oldest and that was because I had to go back to work and was not interested in even trying to do the whole pump, freeze, drag stuff to work and sit alone in the ladies’ room stuff. Kudos to anyone who did, but it wasn’t for me. I was still nursing the second one when I got pregnant with our third, so I pretty much nursed for more than three years straight. No one put me on the cover of Time. (okay, so yeah, I don’t look the chick they did put on the cover…)
What I remember about the second two and nursing was that they indicated quite clearly to me when it was time for that to be over. They wanted their independence and I wanted them to have it.
Seems to me that what’s always left out of theories about raising kids is that every child is different. Every child progresses at their own pace, has their own needs, wants to interact and control their world in their own way. Here’s some parental advice: pay attention to who your kids already are when they’re in your care and give them enough room to develop and enough barriers to guide them.
The rest of it you’re doing for yourself and not for them. And, in the end your job is to launch them, not be the self-appointed queen or king of their lives.
Just because you’ve had a kid and can read crap on the internet doesn’t make you an expert on raising kids. That’s my job.